Christmas Review - Christmas with the Kranks (2004)

       Hey guys, Chuck here. And today, we're taking a look at one of the most disliked Christmas movies of all time: 2004's Christmas with the Kranks. Based on the novel Skipping Christmas by John Grisham (yes, THAT John Grisham), this movie from director Joe Roth stars Tim Allen, Jamie Lee Curtis, Dan Aykroyd, Austin Pendleton, Jake Busey, Cheech Marin, Julie Gonzalo, and M. Emmett Walsh. 

      The movie tells the story of Luther and Nora Krank, whose daughter Blair is leaving the country and heading to Peru as part of the U.S. Peace Corps. After Blair leaves, Luther runs some numbers on how much he and Nora spend towards the Christmas holiday, and compares them to the cost of a cruise trip, and makes easily the most idiotic decision ever. When at home with Nora, Luther lays out a plan to take a cruise for the Christmas holiday and completely skip out on celebrating Christmas. No presents, no tree, no fancy dinner party. A complete boycott. 

     This doesn't exactly sit well with their neighbors and friends. This especially applies to Vic Frohmeyer who, along with his son Spike, begins a string of moments harassing both Luther and Nora in regards to at least ONE Christmas decoration: a Frosty the Snowman statue that goes on the roof of the Kranks' house. And, the fact that TWO PEOPLE choosing to go on a cruise as opposed to celebrating Christmas is a BIG DEAL is RIDICULOUS!  First off, people taking a vacation or a cruise at Christmas is COMMON, and maybe they won't be able to tend to their decorations while they're away. Hell, not EVERYONE puts up decorations at Christmas. So, to see an entire town up in arms about the Kranks not celebrating Christmas is dumb. 

       ON THE OTHER HAND, Luther's antics with regards skipping out on Christmas are EQUALLY DUMB. I mean, it's one thing to want to save money, but it comes off like Luther has a complete phobia of Christmas or something. And, as opposed to saving money, which was the plan, Luther spends MORE money on pointless shit, like a tanning session, teeth cleaning (in a scene that was cut), and a Botox injection. 

      But, ultimately, everything gets uprooted when Blair calls from Miami, as she is coming home for Christmas with her new fiancé Enrique. And, instead of, I dunno, telling Blair the truth about their holiday plans, Nora instead acts as if the typical Christmas party and such is still happening. So, Luther and Nora have a handful of hours to get the house decorated and food for Christmas dinner for the party. And, suffice it to say that the insanity of the antics seen throughout the movie are dwarfed by the insanity of the antics involved in rushing to get their house ready for Christmas. 

      And, it's when Luther falls from the roof trying to set up Frosty that the neighborhood comes out to find out what's going on. And Vic mentions how, despite Luther's behavior throughout the holiday season, it's more important to help out for Blair's sake than for Luther and Nora. So, it's thanks to everyone in the neighborhood that the Kranks are able to get the house ready for Christmas in time for Blair and Enrique to arrive. 

       A few mishaps here and there, but Christmas at the Kranks' house goes off pretty well. As for the cruise tickets, Luther decides to pass them along to his neighbors Walt and Bev, the latter of whom is terminally ill and has only so much time left. And, the movie ends with Luther and Nora looking up as the snow falls. 

      Christmas with the Kranks is, without a doubt, one of the worst Christmas movies ever made. The fact that a couple wants to save money by skipping Christmas is not a big deal. But, the fact that EVERYONE in their town makes it out to be a crime against humanity is just dumb. And, then for them to turn around and get their house prepped for Christmas in the final hour is just ridiculous. The performances, what can I say? Tim Allen, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Dan Aykroyd are really phoning it in here, as all three of them have given much better performances throughout the years. All in all, if you're looking for a fun movie to watch around the holiday season, I'm afraid that Christmas with the Kranks just ain't it. 

       Alright guys, this is Chuck signing off, and join me on Wednesday for my review of the 2009 version of A Christmas Carol.