Review - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)

        Hey guys, Chuck here. One of the all-time great science fiction stories is The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. Originating as a BBC Radio series, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy was later adapted into novel form, and a BBC Television series. So, it's no surprise that, in 2005, a cinematic adaptation of the classic story would also be made. This film was directed by Garth Jennings, and started Sam Rockwell, Martin Freeman, Zooey Deschanel, Mos Def, Anna Chancellor, Bill Nighy, Warwick Davis, and John Malkovich, with Alan Rickman as the voice of Marvin the Robot, and narration by Stephen Fry.

       The movie opens with the narrator expositing about how humans are the third most intelligent beings on Earth, dolphins are the second most intelligent beings, and also somehow knew of the impending destruction of Earth. Attempts to warn of the danger were misinterpreted, so the dolphins opted to leave the Earth on their own, with the last known dolphin encounter appearing as a "double backflip somersault through a hoop while whistling The Star-spangled Banner," while the actual message is this: "So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish." 

       After the opening credits, which are set to a song titled"So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish," we are introduced to Arthur Dent, an ordinary British man who is about to lose his home to make way for a bypass. Arthur's best friend, Ford Prefect, arrives and takes Arthur to a local pub, leaving a shopping cart of peanuts and beer for the construction crew to enjoy. At the pub, Ford reveals he's from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse, and Arthur shows Ford a picture from a party he attended a few nights earlier, and met a young woman named Tricia, but completely blew it as another man showed up wanting to show Tricia his "spaceship." 

        Arthur hurries home, only to find the construction crew already demolished the place, and are now running from a massive ship in the sky. Ford reveals the ship is from a Vogon Constructor Fleet, and grabs a couple towels for himself and Arthur, slips a ring on his thumb and sticks it in the air to "hitch a ride." The Vogons reveal that the Earth was scheduled for demolition to make way for a hyperspace express route through Earth's solar system. And, while people around the globe scream in panic, the Vogons ultimately destroy the Earth, not out of evil or malice, but simply to make way for a hyperspace express route. 

       Arthur and Ford have hitched a ride aboard one of the Vogon ships, and Ford shows Arthur a book he was helping to work on called "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." So, yes, this means that both Arthur and Ford are hitchhikers. Ford is able to get a signal out for another ride, as Vogons HATE hitchhikers, and are already in an unpleasant mood after destroying a planet. But, Arthur and Ford are detected, and a Vogon is sent to collect them. To help translate alien speech for him, Ford takes a little yellow critter called the Babel Fish and sticks it in Arthur's ear. 

      Arthur and Ford are taken before the Vogon poetry master, who reads them a poem. Apparently, Vogon poetry is supposed to be among one of the worst things in the universe, but in this movie it only comes off as incoherent and confusingly bizarre. Arthur tries to compliment the poem, but the Vogons don't take kindly to Arthur's compliments and toss them out of an airlock into the cold vacuum of space. Luckily, another ship called the Starship Heart of Gold arrives thanks to its Infinite Improbability Drive, and when it picks up Arthur and Ford, both are temporarily transformed into sofas. 

       On the ship are Tricia and the man who she left the party with, who turns out to be Galactic President Zaphod Beeblebrox, who is a complete idiot. How big of an idiot? Well, at the dedication for the Heart of Gold, he declared that he was "kidnapping" himself, and was taking the ship with him. Tricia detects our two hitchhikers and sends Marvin the Robot, who is chronically depressed, to collect them. Marvin takes both Arthur and Ford to the bridge, where Arthur reunites with Tricia, who is now going by the moniker Trillian, and Ford reunites with Zaphod. 

      After evading the Vogons, who are in league with Vice President Questular, Zaphod reveals his plan by showing Arthur and Ford a video of the planet Magrathea, where a group of pandimensional beings created a supercomputer called Deep Thought, which was supposed to calculate the answer to the ultimate question about "life, the universe, the everything." However, after taken a little over seven million years to calculate said answer, Deep Thought comes up with a response that confuses everyone. According to Deep Thought, the answer to the "ultimate question" about "life, the universe, and everything" is...42. Unfortunately, Deep Thought cannot calculate the question itself, but does plan to oversee the construction of a more powerful supercomputer than can do so, but the video cuts out before revealing the name of the planet the supercomputer is on. So, Zaphod's plan is to seek out the "ultimate question," and he needs the Infinite Improbability Drive aboard the Heart of Gold to reach Magrathea. 

      However, where they wind up next is the planet Viltvodle VI, home of Zaphod's opponent in the election: Humma Kavula. On Viltvodle VI, the local Jatravarid people believe that the universe was sneezed out by a creature known as the Great Green Arkleseizure, and have built an entire religion around this belief. Humma himself is a missionary for said religion, and always ends his sermons by saying "Bless you." Also, Humma's presidential campaign was more of a smear campaign against Zaphod, using the phrase "Don't Vote for Stupid." However, Humma has the color to Magrathea, but wants something in return: a gun made by Deep Thought. To ensure Zaphod's return, Humma takes his second head as collateral. 

      Unfortunately, the Vogons have caught up with our heroes, and Trillian is captured. Ford, Arthur, and Zaphod, along with Marvin, go after them in a chase to the planet Vogsphere. In custody of the Vogons, Trillian learns that Earth was destroyed, and Zaphod signed the authorization papers to do so, signing the paper "Love and Kisses, Zaphod." ZAPHOD IS A DUMBASS!!!!! Uh, anyway, Trillian is charged with kidnapping the president, and is sentenced to death. However, Arthur, Ford, and Zaphod arrive and get the release of prisoner form signed. Initially, they sign the wrong form, as a presidential release of prisoner form (which is blue) is what they need to free Trillian. Eventually, Arthur signs the right form, and Trillian is released, but she's insanely pissed at Zaphod. 

       Thankfully, they do make it to Magrathea. However, the planet launches two thermonuclear missiles. In a panic, Arthur activates the Infinite Improbability Drive, which doesn't take the ship away from Magrathea, but turns the two missiles into a whale and a bowl of petunias. Upon landing, Ford, Zaphod, and Trillian head into a portal which takes them to Deep Thought, but Arthur is left behind. Deep Thought hints that the supercomputer it designed to calculate the "ultimate question" WAS the planet Earth, but is able to open the way to find the gun Humma asked for: a Point-of-View gun which makes the target see the point of view of the wielder. Apparently, it was commissioned by a consortium of housewives who were sick of ending conversations with their husbands with the phrase "You just don't get it." 

       Arthur, meanwhile, is approached by a Magrathean named Slartibartfast, who reveals that the planet Magrathea was once in the business of creating planets. And, yes, one of the planets made by the people of Magrathea was the Earth. In fact,  they're in the midst of building a back-up of Earth called "Earth Mark II." Slartibartfast takes Arthur to his house, restored as if it had never been destroyed at all, where Ford, Zaphod, and Trillian are enjoying a bounty of food. Also present are a pair of pandimensional beings who have taken on the form of mice, who still seek the "ultimate question," and need Arthur's brain for some reason. However, after finally having the answer to the most important question of his life, Arthur overpowers the pandimensional beings and crushes them. 

       Outside, the Vogons have gathered and begin blasting at our heroes, and Marvin takes a blast to the back of the head. Questular manages to get the shooting to stop, but Zaphod screws up and the shooting resumes. Luckily, Marvin reactivates, grabs the Point-of-View gun, and blasts every Vogon with it, making them all so depressed that they all just lay down and start crying. The Magratheans take the Vogons away, and Slartibartfast asks Arthur if there's anything he thinks the Earth can do without, to which Arthur replies "Yeah. Me." So, Arthur, Trillian, Zaphod, Questular, Marvin and Ford all take off aboard the Heart of Gold to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Earth is returned to its original state, and even the dolphins return. 

       Okay, so while this movie is certainly seen as the weakest telling of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, with many seeing it as a "bad Hollywood adaptation," I think that it's certainly a fine introduction to the concept for those unfamiliar with the earlier interpretation of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The visual effects and creature designs were neat, especially given that they were done by the Jim Henson Creature Shop. The action, especially that of Martin Freeman as Arthur and Sam Rockwell as Zaphod, were great. And, all in all, I have a lot of fun watching this one. Now, while it can be argued that the BBC Television series is probably the best adaptation of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, it's difficult to say the movie is all-around bad. Especially given that the newer elements added into this adaptation, such as the character Humma Kavula, the Point-of-View gun, and the scene on Vogsphere where flyswatters rise from the ground and smack people for having a single thought were all crafted for this particular version of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by creator Douglas Adams before his passing in 2001. 

       So, to wrap up, of you're looking for the best interpretation of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, this probably ain't it. But, if you want to watch a fun movie based on a beloved staple of sci-fi, then check this movie out. 

       Anyway, guys, this is Chuck signing off, and I'll see you guys in the next review.