Robert Rodriguez Month - Spy Kids: All the Time in the World (2011)

         Hey guys, Chuck here, we're back with more Robert Rodriguez Month, and in 2011, eight years after the franchise ended, Robert Rodriguez came back and made a fourth Spy Kids. What inspired him to do this? Well, on the set of Machete, Rodriguez spotted Jessica Alba tending to her child, and he got the idea of a Spy stepmom. Uhhh... This is Spy Kids: All the Time in the World, which stars Jessica Alba, Joel McHale, Rowan Blanchard, Mason Cook, Jeremy Piven, and the voice of Ricky Gervais, and the return of both Alexa Vega and Daryl Sabara. 

        The movie opens with Marissa Cortez-Wilson, who is tracking a time-manipulating criminal called Tick Tock, but is warned off by her boss, OSS Director Danger D'Amo, due to one important detail: Marissa is pregnant. But, Marissa can't let Tick Tock escape, and she goes after him, and she ends up in labor while she's going after Tick Tock. Eventually, she catches him, and the OSS arrests Tick Tock, and rushes Marissa to the hospital, where we meet her family. Wilbur Wilson, her husband, and siblings Rebecca and Cecil, his children. 

       A year passes, and Marissa is struggling to form a bond with Rebecca, but seems fine with Cecil. Wilbur, meanwhile, is hosting a spy hunting television show, but has yet to catch a spy. Whoops. Oh, and there's Maria, who is Wilbur and Marissa's baby. Yep. Oh, and all over the world, time is literally speeding up, to the point where it's running out. Uhh...

       Anyway, a masked criminal, calling himself the Timekeeper, claims responsibility, finding the people of the world guilty of wasting time. Also, it turns out that the Timekeeper is in cahoots with Tick Tock, who is working with the Timekeeper to locate the Chronos Sapphire, which is the only thing that can stop the Timekeeper's plan regarding a machine called the Armageddon Device. And the Timekeeper warns Tick Tock "you waste my time, and I'll waste you." Okay, that line was kinda badass. Okay, so Marissa is called back into service at the OSS, and Danger sends her after Tick Tock, deciding catching both Tick Tock and the Timekeeper is more important than collecting the Chronos Sapphire, which is around Rebecca's neck.

       Tick Tock's men go to the Wilson house, and Rebecca and Cecil are urged into the secret Panic Room, where they learn that Marissa is a spy, and the family dog Argonaut is a talking robot dog. Question: not that I have a problem with a talking robot dog, but why was he voiced by Ricky Gervais? Was there no other British actor available, like Timothy Dalton? Jeez, Rodriguez. Anyway, even the Panic Room is breached, forcing Rebecca and Cecil to enter high-speed jets that will fly them to OSS Headquarters, where Marissa arranges for them to be greeted by Marissa's niece? Who could that be, you ask? None other than Carmen Cortez. So, Carmen shows Rebecca and Cecil to the shuttered Spy Kids division, and lets them each pick a gadget to keep as a souvenir. 

        So, Rebecca and Cecil break out of the room there taken to, crack the Timekeeper's code, and transport themselves to a watch shop, which is the Timekeeper's hideout. Marissa, meanwhile, goes after Tick Tock, but he escapes and catches up with the Timekeeper. Meanwhile, we see Rebecca and Cecil find a recording of Project Armageddon, which was an OSS project from years past, and was an attempt to crack time travel. But, it all went wrong, and the Chronos Sapphire, which fell from space, was the only thing that could shut the Armageddon Device down. However, Rebecca and Cecil are nabbed by Tick Tock, and are taken before the Timekeeper. Luckily, Marissa and Carmen are already there, and the four stand together against the Timekeeper's men. Wilbur, meanwhile, has used his spy tracker to track spies to the same location, and gets footage of the fight below. Marissa, Carmen, Rebecca, and Cecil all escape, but Tick Tock gets ahold of the Chronos Sapphire. 

        At his studio, Wilbur goes over the footage, along with his boss, and is shocked to see his wife and kids in the footage. Acting quick, he destroys the footage, and is fired from his job. Oops. Anyway, he and Marissa have a moment in the parking lot z where he drives off, needing time to think things over. Back at OSS, Danger briefs the agents on the Armageddon Device, also known as the Wells Experiment, and how it's been in lock-up at the OSS ever since the experiment was shut down. And, of course, Danger calls Juni out of retirement to help stop the Timekeeper. 

         Back in the room they were held in before, Rebecca and Cecil meet Danger, and they put together that he's the Timekeeper. How? Well,.thanks to his hearing aids, Cecil is able to hear the ticking of Danger's multiple watches, and the name "Danger D'Amo" is an anagram, and has the same letters as the word "Armageddon." Danger locks the kids in the room, and they attempt to warn Marissa, who doesn't believe them. However,, when Carmen, Juni, and Marissa find what they think is the Armageddon Device, it's a hologram. And, the Timekeeper shows up, unmasks himself, and revealing he IS Danger. Danger reveals that the real Armageddon Device is back at the OSS, and he freezes all OSS agents in time. Going with Tick Tock to use it. However, Juni didn't have an OSS badge, as Carmen tossed his in the trash, and he isn't frozen. Juni calls Rebecca and Cecil, activating them as Spy Kids, and tasking them with stopping Danger from using the Armageddon Device. Juni then unfreezes Marissa and Carmen, and it's here we learn where Juni disappeared to. Apparently, he tried to go solo, as he thought it wasn't cool to be working with his sister. Also, Argonaut calls Wilbur, saying his family needs his help. 

       After fighting through thugs, Rebecca and Cecil are caught by Tick Tock, again, and taken to Danger, who has reached the Armageddon Device. And, it's here where we see the truth: the Armageddon Device was designed to travel back in time. The project was being made back in the 1930's by Danger's father, but it went haywire during a test. Danger got caught, and wound up being frozen in time, watching the years go by, and watching his father grow old and die. So, Danger wants to use the Armageddon Device and the Chronos Sapphire to traverse to the past to be with his father again, and try to fix the past. However, it seems he tried it before, and always came back worse, as Tick Tock, and the Timekeeper's masked forces, are all alternate versions of Danger himself. 

        But, Danger goes through with his plan anyway, but comes back an old man. Unable to save his father, he learned something this time, which was that you have to live looking forward, not back. Danger uses the Chronos to stop the Armageddon Device for good, but Tick Tock nabs it, only to be cuffed and decked by Wilbur, who has decided he's going to make time for his family, reconciling with them. Carmen and Juni then reveal that they're going to reopen the Spy Kids division, with Rebecca and Cecil as its first new agents. The movie ends with Rebecca and Cecil putting out an activation call for a new generation of Spy Kids. 

         Spy Kids: All the Time in the World is a movie that didn't need to happen,  and is easily the weakest of the Spy Kids series. But, that's not to say it didn't have some good things. Jessica Alba was enjoyably badass as Marissa, Joel McHale as Wilbur was enjoyable, and I liked seeing Alexa Vega and Daryl Sabara back as Carmen and Juni. My personal favorite, however, was Jeremy Piven as Danger D'Amo/The Timekeeper. Because, it's Jeremy Piven, and I am a big fan of his. But, Ricky Gervais as the voice of Argonaut was really irritating, and while both Rowan Blanchard and Mason Cook were inoffensive as Rebecca and Cecil, they weren't as memorable as Carmen and Juni, or even Gary and Gerti. And, unfortunately, their chemistry felt as dull as ditchwater. 

        But, I will say, the visual effects were a definite improvement over Spy Kids 3D: Game Over. Cartoonish and silly, yes, but at least better polished. But, the problem was an unrefined story, a lack of cohesion, and no real interest from audiences. Also, the movie was released in theaters in AromaScope, which meant that audiences were given scratch-and-sniff cards to go with the movie. And, the gimmick didn't work. Overall, as much as I loved the original three Spy Kids movies, this one was a complete stinker. I'm giving Spy Kids: All the Time in the World a rating of 1.45/5. 

       Alright guys, this is Chuck signing off, and when we continue Robert Rodriguez Month tomorrow, we're FINALLY wrapping up the Spy Kids movies with the latest entry: Spy Kids: Armageddon.