Robert Rodriguez Month - Machete (2010)

          Hey guys, Chuck here, and yes, I'm talking about Grindhouse again. And, much like with Eli Roth's Thanksgiving last year, the movie I'm talking about today was based on one of the Grindhouse fake trailers. In this case, a full-length adaptation of the Robert Rodriguez directed fake trailer Machete. Released in August of 2010, Machete stars Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, Daryl Sabara, Shea Whigham, Lindsay Lohan, and Robert DeNiro. 

         So, the movie Machete tells the story of, well, Machete. And we see when Machete was still working in Mexico as a Federale, when he is betrayed by his superior and a young woman who Machete was attempting to rescue. And who is Machete betrayed to? A former Federale turned drug kingpin named Rogelio Torrez, who kills Machete's wife, implies to Machete that his daughter is also dead, and leaves him to die in a burning building. 

         Some time later, and Machete.is now in Texas illegally, doing day labor work where he can get it. One day, he is approached by a man named Michael Booth, who offers to pay Machete $150 million in cash to assassinate Texas Senator John McLaughlin, who is proposing an electrified border fence across the Southern Border between the U.S. and Mexico. Machete, unable to refuse, takes the money and leaves it with a woman named Luz, who operates a taco truck, and is believed to operate a mysterious underground group called The Network, doing so under the moniker of Shé. 

       Unfortunately, the assassination is botched, as Booth's top enforcer, Sniper, shoots Machete in the shoulder, kneecaps Senator McLaughlin, and Booth points to Machete, who is taken to a hospital with members of the Network tending to him. And, yes, the two nurses are the twins from Grindhouse. Booth's men show up, and Machete easily tears through them, to be later picked up by Luz, who takes him home to recover. But, once again, Booth's men show up, and Machete takes them apart and escapes, just as Luz's house burns down. 

       Another individual on Machete's trail is Immigration agent named Sartana Rivera, who picks him up and tries to help him. However, he turns instead to his brother, Padre Benicio del Toro, who begrudgingly agrees to help him. Booth, meanwhile, is shocked to learn from Torrez that Machete is a former Federale, and kills Sniper for his repeated failures, calling in a hitman for hire named Osiris Amanpour. Machete, meanwhile, finds his way to Booth's house, where Booth's wife, June, and daughter, April, are filming a dirty video in their pool, and Machete is invited to be part of the video. June and April are knocked out, and Machete nabs some file discs from Booth's study, and he drops June and April at the church, returning to Sartana with the discs. Luz, meanwhile, is confronted by Von, who shoots her eye out, leaving her to die. 

       On the discs is evidence that links McLaughlin's campaign, Booth's dealings, and a group of border vigilantes led by a man named Von Jackson, to Torrez and his drug money, which effectively absolves the Network of anything to do with the assassination attempt on McLaughlin. Booth, meanwhile, joins with Osiris, and they bleed Padre out by nailing him to the cross in the church, while Booth reveals his true goal: secure the border, this increasing the demand for Torrez's drugs. Yikes. Seeing this image, Machete decides to take down Booth, Von, and McLaughlin for good. And, Sartana finds the footage of Booth and Osiris, and takes it to the press, along with the evidence tying McLaughlin to Torrez, as well as a night that McLaughlin, working with Von, shot an immigrant attempting to cross the border illegally. At a press conference, this information is publicly revealed, leading to Booth being killed by McLaughlin. Booth, who is confronted by Machete, reveals that he was working with Torrez to move drugs into America, but too much competition was making it through as well, so Booth decided to use politics where Von and the vigilantes were unable to succeed. 

       Back at the church, June and April learn that Booth was killed by McLaughlin, and April puts on a nun's outfit and goes in search of revenge. Machete rallies the Network to go after Von and the vigilantes. And, of course, a massive showdown takes place, in which we see the Network face off against the Border Vigilantes, McLaughlin is betrayed by Von and sides with the Network, April shoots McLaughlin, Luz, who is sporting an eye patch, kills Von and a number of vigilantes, and Machete has a final showdown with Torrez, and they are evenly matched. And, after being impaled by Machete, Torrez commits seppuku and dies. That night, McLaughlin wakes up, and is mistaken for an illegal immigrant and is killed. Machete, meanwhile, is given a green card by Sartana, but declines it, and the two ride off together. The movie ends with the announcement that Machete will return in two more movies: Machete Kills and Machete Kills Again.

        Okay, so for the first movie to be adapted from a fake trailer in Grindhouse, Machete was a ton of fun. Danny Trejo as Machete is a straight up badass, and it was fantastic to see the likes of Michelle Rodriguez and Jessica Alba kick ass in this movie as well. Having the villainous quartet of Jeff Fahey as Booth, Don Johnson as Von, Robert DeNiro as McLaughlin, and Steven Seagal as Torrez was excellent. And, the brilliant writing and directing by Robert Rodriguez is a part of what took this movie to heights that were just a blast to watch on screen. I also liked how the conflict of the movie dealt with a combination of the U.S./Mexico border dispute and the drug trade. I think that it was a really clever way to combine a mix of real world issues with a kickass action movie about a man getting back at those who wronged him. So, I'm giving Machete a rating of 5/5. 

         Alright guys, this is Chuck signing off, and I'll be back tomorrow for more Robert Rodriguez Month with Machete Kills.