Review - The Twilight Saga (2008-2012)

        Hey guys, Chuck here, and I hope you all appreciate what I do here at Chuck's Movie Breakdown, because sometimes it ain't a picnic. Don't get me wrong, I love talking movies, television series, video games, and anime, because those are some of the things I love the most. 

       But, every now and again, you find that one film series that you don't like, you know many others don't like, but you have to review it anyway, because so many reviewers have done it, so it's practically a rite of passage as a reviewer. So, with that in mind, let's talk about Twilight.

       Based on the book series by Stephanie Meyer, Twilight is a five-film series that consists of the following films: 2008's Twilight directed by Catherine Hardwick, 2009's New Moon directed by Christ Weitz, 2010's Eclipse directed by David Slade, and the 2011-2012 two parter Breaking Dawn directed by Bill Condon. 

       The series centers on teenage girl names Bella Swan, who is moving from Arizona to Forks, Washington. Why? Two reasons: (a) to live with her father, and (b) due to her mother's new boyfriend not having a stable living situation due to his status as a minor league baseball player. Anyway, in Forks, Bella befriends a few of the local teens: Mike, Jessica, Ángela, and Eric. And these four have two things in common as well: (a) they're all basic high school stereotypes, and (b) they're all more interesting than Bella. However, Bella's attentions are drawn towards a group of teens called the Cullens, who are the adopted kids of Dr. Carlisle Cullen and his wife Esme. And who are these teens? Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Edward. And guess which one Bella is drawn to? Yup, Edward. 

         However, Bella learns from her childhood friend, Jacob Black, that the Cullens have a secret to his tribe, the Quileutes, are aware of. Ultimately, the Cullens and the Quileutes have a truce to stay out of each others territory, lest the secret get revealed. Luckily, no one else in Forks knows the secret, and only sees the Cullens as being weird, taking time off after a while. Oh, and a string of mysterious murders have taken place across the region. Anyway, as the school year goes on, Bella tries to get closer to Edward, and eventually learns the secret: he and the other Cullens are vampires. And, okay, let's get this out of the way. Yes, Stephanie Meyer vampires glitter and sparkle in sunlight, which should technically ignite and kill them. Yes, I do agree that the idea of vampires glittering and sparkling in sunlight is stupid. But, heck, of frickin' Deacon Frost can survive sunlight with simple sunblock in the movie Blade, then anything is possible at this point. Anyway, Edward reveals that he and the Cullens only feed on animal blood, unlike other vampires who feed on human blood. Yeah, whatever. 

        Ultimately, it's during an impromptu game of baseball where Bella and the Cullens learn of the cause of the mysterious murders: a trio of nomadic vampires: Laurent, Victoria, and James. James, a tracker, catches Bella's scent and decides to hunt her down, which leads to a confrontation in Bella's old dance school in Arizona. Bella is bit, but Edward gets the venom out while the rest of the Cullens kill James. Bella and Edward go to prom together, and Victoria swears revenge. 

         Unfortunately, it's during Bella's eighteenth birthday party that an incident involving Jasper occurs, forcing the Cullens to leave. Bella, devastated, grows distant and has unending nightmares in her sleep. But, she finds solace in thrill seeking, specifically riding motorcycles. And, it's at this time she and Jacob begin to grow closer as well, and she learns that there's more to some of the Quileutes that she thought. And, after a confrontation with Laurent, she learns the Quileutes' secret: they're werewolves. Yup, first we got vampires, now we got werewolves. However, one key thing about these werewolves is they're ability to transform at will, as opposed to under the light of the full moon. Umm...what? No, seriously, WHAT? I mean, it is what it is, but this double slap in the face of both vampire lore and werewolf lore is just sad. I mean, damn. 

        Anyway, Alice returns home after seeing a terrible vision about Bella, and then has another about Edward, who wants to end his existence to be with Bella, who he thinks is dead. So, Bella and Alice head to Volterra, Tuscany, and Bella stops Edward from revealing his true nature, which would force the hand of the Volturi, which is essentially the vampire mafia. These guys are treated as royalty, and have existed for millennia. Anyway, we meet them, and they are fascinated with Bella. But, she knows too much and is a risk. So that means one of two things: either she dies, or she must become a vampire herself. After Alice's vision of a vampire Bella, the Volturi lets everyone go, and Edward agrees to turn Bella into a vampire on one condition: the two of them get married. 

        With that going on, we of course learn that Victoria is still on the loose, and is hunted by both the Cullens and the Quileutes. Meanwhile, many disappearances and murders have taken place in Seattle: someone is building an army of newborn vampires. According to both Carlisle and Jasper, the latter of whom was turned and brought on to train newborn vampires back in the Civil War, newborns are when a vampire is at their strongest, and at their least controlled. And commanding this newborn army is a teen from Forks named Riley Biers. But, who is responsible for the newborn army? Who else? Victoria. So, the Cullens make a pact with the Quileutes to work together to fend off the newborn army, while both Edward and Jacob will specifically be protecting Bella. 

        A few members of the Volturi, including twin siblings Jane and Alec, also witness the newborn army and its actions, but decide to stand by and see what is going to happen. Ultimately, an epic showdown occurs, Victoria is finished, Riley is drug off and eliminated by one of the Quileutes, and the army is destroyed... except for one of them. One of the newborns, Bree Tanner, was offered asylum by Carlisle and Esme, but she ends up killed by the Volturi anyway. So, with everything done, what's next? 

         Bella and Edward have their wedding, and go off on a tropical honeymoon together. But, something else happens: Bella ends up pregnant, and the baby is killing her. After months of difficulty, and having to drink blood for the baby to live, Bella and Edward's daughter is born. And yes, the name Renesmee is stupid, just getting that out of the way. And, to save her life, Edward turns Bella into a vampire. Unfortunately, word of Bella and Edward's daughter gets out, as she grows pretty quickly, and it is feared that she's an immortal child, which is a vampire child that is an uncontrollable being that cannot ever exist. So, the Cullens have to show Renesmee to as many of their allies around the world as possible to show that she isn't an immortal child, and thus the Volturi cannot destroy her. 

        And now the elephant in the room: the epic battle between the Cullens, their allies, the Quileutes, and the Volturi and their army. Yes, it's awesome. Yes, it's action packed. Yes, it's probably the coolest thing in this series. BUT! It turns out to be a fake out. A vision of a possible future that Alice predicted and shows to Aro of the Volturi. And, when she shows the Volturi a man who, like Renesmee, is half-human and half-vampire, and that such halfbreeds are not a threat, the Volturi leave, and Bella, Edward, and Renesmee have a happy life together as a family. Ugh. 

      Okay, so I just broke down the story of five, I repeat, FIVE movies in one go. Let that sink in, because only two other guys have done that recently: Doug Walker for Nostalgia Critic and Sean "Smeghead" Moore for Cinematic Excrement. And I highly recommend checking their videos out on YouTube, they're pretty entertaining. As for my perspective on these movies, I agree with the masses: they suck. But, that's not to say there's not a few good things about them. 

      For instance, the third movie in the series, Eclipse, is probably my personal favorite of the series. It has a sense of tension throughout, with the newborn army growing in Seattle, and the looming threat of them. Also seeing the backstories of both Jasper and Rosalie was kinda neat, especially seeing that Jasper was part of the Texas Calvary during the Civil War, only to be turned into a vampire and brought on to train newborn vampires. Yeah, that story could have made for a more interesting movie. And I have to agree with Smeghead in that Breaking Dawn Part 2 is good, as well. Certainly undeserving of the Razzie wins it got. Yeesh. 

        And, let's get this out of the way, every actor featured in this series deserved better, and eventually got their acting redemptions. Robert Pattinson, who was Edward in this series, definitely got redemption as an actor because guess what? He's frickin' Batman now! Yeah, the dude we mocked for years because of this series is now Batman. Good on him. Even Kristen Stewart, who plays Bella, has gotten much better work since this series ended. Anna Kendrick, Christian Serratos, Ashley Greene, Gil Birmingham, Nikki Reed, Edi Gathegi, Bryce Dallas Howard, Jodelle Ferland, and so many others featured throughout the series have gone on to be in much better projects. Heck, one of my favorite performances by Anna Kendrick was in Disney's big screen adaptation of Into the Woods with Meryl Streep and Johnny Depp. And I recently watched the entire run of the Syfy Channel series Dark Matter, where Jodelle Ferland was one of the principal cast members. And Edi Gathegi was recently announced as Mister Terrific in James Gunn's upcoming Superman Legacy. So, yeah, everyone that was part of the Twilight franchise has gone on to better things. However, easily the best performance in the series came from Michael Sheen, who portrayed Volturi leader Aro. Honestly, that guy just gives his all in every movie he's in. 

         But, the issues of the Twilight series stem from two places: the writing, and screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg's faithfulness to Stephanie Meyer's books. Don't get me wrong, as Melissa Rosenberg ALSO went on to helm much better projects, such as the Marvel series Jessica Jones. But, these movies are all pretty much a screenwriting mess, and could have easily been cleaned up by combining a few of them together. For instance, New Moon and Eclipse could have been one movie, and Breaking Dawn should have been one movie instead of two. 

        On a positive note, the directing in each movie did improve as the series progressed. Chris Weitz was a better director than Catherine Hardwick, David Slade definitely was an improvement over Chris Weitz, and Bill Condon delivered a decent enough conclusion to the series. But, with that in mind, it's still not the best. Did it deserve that hate it got back then? Definitely. But, does it deserve to be looked at from a far less hateful lens? Only slightly. 

        My final thoughts are these: Twilight was a franchise for its time and its target demographic. Is it for everyone? No. But, it can still be entertaining to a certain extent of watching it to make fun of it. So, as a sign of generosity, I'm giving the Twilight series a rating of 3.15/5. 

       Anyway guys, this is Chuck signing off, and I'll see you guys next time when I take a look at The Expendables franchise.