Review - The Expendables (2010-2014)

        Hey guys, Chuck here, and after looking at the Twilight series, I feel like I need to look at something more for me. So, today, I'm taking a look at a film series with arguably one of the most badass action movie titles ever: The Expendables. The series has seen three entries released so far, with a fourth due for release soon, and each one has featured cast members Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Randy Couture, and Dolph Lundgren. Additional cast members throughout the films had included the following: Terry Crews, Jet Li, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Charisma Carpenter, Mickey Rourke, Eric Roberts, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Liam Hemsworth, Yu Nan, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Chuck Norris, Harrison Ford, Kelsey Grammer, Mel Gibson, Wesley Snipes, Antonio Banderas, Ronda Rousey, Kellan Lutz, Glen Powell, and Victor Ortiz. And one thing worth noting is that The Expendables marked the first big screen movie that Arnold Schwarzenegger would appear in since he became Governor of California in 2003, returning to acting full time after his second term came to an end in 2011. 

       So, the original Expendables, released in 2010 and directed by Sylvester Stallone, sees a covert black ops team dubbed "the Expendables," which consists of Barney Ross, Lee Christmas, Toll Road, Gunner Jensen, Hale Caesar, and Yin Yang, pulling a rescue mission for people being held hostage by Somalian pirates. Although the job is successful, things still go awry, forcing Barney to remove Gunner from the team. After returning home to New Orleans, Barney is confronted by government agent calling himself Mr. Church. And, after his old rival, Trench Mauser, declines a job offer, Barney accepts Mr. Church's offer, and the team is sent on their next mission: overthrow a dictator named General Garza, who is situated on the island of Vilena in the Gulf of Mexico. 

       Unfortunately, Garza is being backed by a former CIA agent named James Munroe, who is the one keeping Garza in power. Oh, and Gunner is working with the bad guys now. Whoops. Tons of action, tons of suspense, and a lot of back and forth, and our heroes win, welcoming Gunner back onto the team, and the movie ends with the crew celebrating in New Orleans. 

        Okay, so the plot of the movie is kinda par the course of an action flick. Butz that's not what people went to the movie for. No, we went to see the biggest collection of action movie icons joined together in one movie. Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Randy Couture, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Eric Roberts, Terry Crews, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke. This was what the movie was marketed as. Action legends kicking ass together in the same movie. But, the story was also decent, easy to follow, and packed with kickass action. So, I'm giving The Expendables a rating of 4.5/5.

      Two years later, and we got 2012's The Expendables 2, director by Simon West. The movie opens with the Expendables, joined by their newest recruit Billy the Kid, in Nepal on a rescue mission. They ultimately save Dr. Zhou, as well as Trench Mauser, and Yin Yang leaves the team to escort Dr. Zhou back to China. 

        Back at home, Barney is approached by Mr. Church with yet another mission: retrieve an item from a downed plane in Albania, with tech expert Maggie Chen going with the team on the mission. However, even though they get the package, the team is confronted by a criminal syndicate called the Sangs, led by Jean Vilain, who take the package and kill Billy, who had planned to retire and live with his girlfriend. 

     Maggie reveals that the package was a computer that held the location of an abandoned mine holding five tons of refined plutonium left behind by the Soviet Union. So, Barney and the team goes after the Sangs in Bulgaria, running into an old ally named Booker, who is a lone wolf mercenary, and he points them to a village that opposed the Sangs. Vilain and his right-hand man Hector, meanwhile,  locate and dig up the the plutonium.

       The team arrives at the village, and they defeat a group of Sangs who seek to take more villagers, leading to a final showdown with the Expendables and the Sangs, where Booker, Trench, and Church all show up to aid in defeating Vilain and the Sangs for good. And, this includes blatant references to the action franchises that Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and Willis were most famous for. In fact, here's a literal exchange between Trench and Church: "I'll be back" "You've been back enough. I'll be back" "Yippie ki yay." Anyway, the Sangs are defeated, Maggie goes with Trench, Church, and Booker, and the Expendables return home. The end. 

       Okay, so if I'm being honest, the plot of The Expendables 2 is the best in the franchise. It's engaging, it's intense, and it's frickin awesome. The returning cast is fantastic, and we get more of Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger than we got in the first movie. And newcomers like Yu Nan and Liam Hemsworth absolutely fit in with the main cast. And I was stoked to see Jean-Claude Van Damme as our main villain, as well as Chuck Norris as Booker. And yes, they did reference the famous Chuck Norris jokes when they referenced how Booker "got bit by a cobra, and the cobra died after three days of agonizing pain." Overall an improvement on the original, I'm giving The Expendables 2  a rating of 5/5. 

        2014 saw the release of The Expendables 3, which was directed by Patrick Hughes. Now, one thing worth noting is that, while the first two Expendables movies were rated R, Expendables 3 was rated PG-13. Meaning that the action, violence, and everything that made the first two movies awesome would be toned down in the theatrical release. It did get.an unrated cut on home video, but that PG-13 rating for the theatrical release is still problematic. 

       Anyway, the Expendables start off on an extraction mission. Who are they extracting? An old member of the team named Doctor Death. And why was Doc locked up? Tax fraud. Nice nod to what happened to Wesley Snipes in real life, movie. Anyway, it's during the extraction,and an attempt to intercept a shipment going to a warlord in Somalia, that the Expendables come under the attack of another former team member, Conrad Stonebanks. Stonebanks was co-founder of the Expendables, but he went rogue years ago and was assumed dead. Unfortunately, Caesar get severely injured and ends up hospitalized for a chunk of the movie. 

      Back in the U.S, Barney is approached by CIA Max Drummer, who has taken over as handler for the Expendables due to Mr. Church being "out of the picture." Anyway, Drummer gives Barney the mission to apprehend Stonebanks to bring him before a tribunal with the International Criminal Court. Barney, still blaming himself for Caesar's injuries, decides to leave his old team behind in favor of a younger team. Yeah, this was done pretty much to try and cater to a teen demographic who probably had no interest in The Expendables franchise to begin with. But, the new recruits weren't all that bad. With help from mercenary turned recruiter Bonaparte, Barney assembles a new Expendables team with the following new recruits: U.S. Marine Smiley, nightclub bouncer Luna, former DARPA sharpshooter Mars, and hacker/drone pilot Thorn. 

      Unfortunately, the new kids are no match for Stonebanks and his men, and they end up captured. So, Barney is joined by former Spanish Armed Forces sharpshooter Galgos, as well as Lee, Doc, Gunner, and Toll Road, to get back the recruits and stop Stonebanks for good. Action ensues, including seeing Drummer flying a helicopter, Trench and Yin Yang get into the fight, and Stonebanks is defeated. The Expendables, old and new, all celebrate together, and the movie ends. 

      Okay, so the plot isn't all that bad. I actually like the idea of a former leader of the Expendables going up against them, making a perfect adversary for Barney himself. Mel Gibson was perfectly cast as Conrad Stonebanks, and he relishes in being the villain. I also enjoyed both Wesley Snipes as Doctor Death and Antonio Banderas as Galgos. But, my favorite new addition was Harrison Ford as Drummer. Again, this may be because I love the guy in franchises like Indiana Jones and Star Wars, but I relish every minute of screen time Harrison Ford gets to be an all-out badass, and it's great seeing him alongside of Stallone and Schwarzenegger. 

      But, again, it's the idea of these new recruits that really didn't belong there in the first place. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed Kellan Lutz as Smiley, Glen Powell as Thorn, Victor Ortiz as Mars, and Ronda Rousey as Luna. They were terrific, and they all kicked ass, especially Ronda. And I'm not just saying that because Ronda Rousey could easily twist my ass into a pretzel, either. But, the issue is that it goes against the point of what The Expendables is all about. At the end of the day, The Expendables is about seeing iconic action movie veterans getting together and being complete badasses. That's not to say that younger, up and coming talent can't be part of it, but they shouldn't take away from the legends we came to see. I mean, look at Liam Hemsworth as Billy the Kid in Expendables 2. He was Barney's protege, and he was part of the team with the others. He already new Lee, Yin Yang, Toll Road, Caesar, and Gummer. But, the idea of Barney Ross replacing his entire team with much younger recruits just feels disingenuous to me. 

       And, unfortunately, the PG-13 rating of the theatrical release made the film weaker as well. This is a series that thrives on the R-rating. But, even with the lower rating, I still enjoyed the movie for what it was. And, I wanted to see a movie with Antonio Banderas, Wesley Snipes, and Harrison Ford, which is what I got. So, I'm giving The Expendables 3 a rating of 4.05/5. 

       Alright guys, thanks for checking out my review of The Expendables series. Be sure to join me when I review the new movie in the series, Expend4bles, when it hits theaters later this month. This is Chuck signing off, and I'll see you guys later.