Review - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)

         Hey guys, Chuck here, and it fascinates me just how much Pirates of the Caribbean influenced pop culture throughout the 2010's. For example, in 2013, Ubisoft released the game Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag, which is my personal favorite game in the Assassin's Creed franchise. The game is set in the Golden Age of Piracy, and focuses on Edward Kenway, a privateer turned pirate, who later joins the Assassin's brotherhood. Also, two television series centered on pirates went on the air in 2014. The first was a nine-episode NBC series called Crossbones, which told a fictional "what-if" story of how Blackbeard, played in the series by John Malkovich, didn't die and was instead in hiding as the commodore of a secluded island community in the year 1729. The second was the Starz original series Black Sails, which came courtesy of executive producer Michael Bay, and served as a sort-of prequel to Robert Louis Stevenson's classic novel Treasure Island. Black Sails, which ran from 2014 thru 2017, combined novel characters like Captain Flint, Billy Bones, and Long John Silver with historical figures like Blackbeard, Charles Vane, Jack Rackham, Anne Bonny, and so forth. 

         So, with so much pirate related media out there, one would have expected that Disney would try to put their best effort into the fifth Pirates of the Caribbean film. Unfortunately, the end result was anything but. Released in 2017, at a time when interest in the franchise outside of its hardcore fans, as well as interest in Johnny Depp in general, was at an all-time low point, Disney and Bruckheimer released Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, released in foreign markets as Salazar's Revenge. This movie really felt like Disney threw every concept for the franchise at a wall, picked what stuck, and turned it into a single movie. Directing this time around are Norwegian filmmakers Joachim Ronning and Espen Sandberg, with writing this time handled by Jeff Nathanson. Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Stephen Graham, Martin Klebba, and Kevin R. McNally all return from earlier films, and I will say, the list of new cast members is pretty impressive. Brenton Thwaites, Kaya Scodelario, David Wenham, Bruce Spence, Paul McCartney, and of course Javier Bardem. Also, both Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley return in brief appearances as Will and Elizabeth. 

        Speaking of Will and Elizabeth, the movie opens with their son, Henry, rowing out to sea,. strapping a heavy object to his ankle, and dropping it into the water, dragging him with it. Henry finds himself rescued by Will, still captain of the Flying Dutchman. Henry reveals that he found a way to break Will's curse and bring him home for good: the Trident of Poseidon. Will, however, tells his son to forget him and move on, as the Trident can never be found. Nine years pass, and an older Henry is on a ship... sailing straight for the Devil's Triangle. The ship ends up in the Triangle, where they come upon the remains of a Spanish ship, the Silent Mary, and her cursed crew, and the British crew is killed... except for Henry, who is tasked by the spectral Captain Salazar to find Jack Sparrow and deliver a warning that Salazar is coming for him. 

        On the island of Saint Martin, we meet a young woman named Carina Smyth, who is a woman of science. Astronomy, to be precise. However, as this was uncommon at the time, many men see her as a witch, and this becomes a running joke throughout the movie, and it really isn't funny. Plus, one of the men who calls her a witch, Lieutenant Scarfield of the Royal Navy, is actually allied with an actual Sea Witch named Shansa. Anyway, her goal is to read a map "no man can read" to find the location of the Trident of Poseidon. Meanwhile, Jack Sparrow and his crew, including Gibbs, Marty, and Scrum, are robbing the newly opened Bank of Saint Martin, only for all the money to spill out of the vault in a ridiculous scene where the vault, hell the ENTIRE BANK, is dragged through Saint Martin by horse. Jeez, I've heard of suspension of disbelief, but this is ridiculous. Anyway, with no money and no real success, Jack's crew abandons him. Oh, and Jack has become so lame over the years that the price on his head is almost nothing. Man, that sucks. 

       Anyway, Jack is so down on his luck that he trades his own compass for a bottle of rum, remarking "Pirate's Life" as he does it. Unfortunately, this has unforseen consequences, as Jack giving up his compass destroys the Devil's Triangle, allowing Salazar and his spectral crew to escape and roam the sea again. Jack finds himself arrested, and has a brief reunion with his Uncle Jack in prison. Carina, meanwhile, approaches Henry, offering to work with him to locate the Trident with help from her father's journal, but she is arrested. Jack and Carina are taken to be executed, with Carina set to be hanged and Jack facing a new form of execution: the guillotine. Through their back and forth banter, Jack and Carina stall their execution, buying enough time for Henry, Gibbs, Scrum, Marty, and the rest of Jack's crew, to free both Jack and Carina. Everyone returns to Jack's new ship, a crappy vessel called the Dying Gull, which sets sail. Unfortunately, according to Carina, the map to the Trident can only be read at night, because the map is written in the stars. 

        Salazar, meanwhile, has gone on a rampage attacking pirate ships left and right. Many of them, unfortunately, are part of a vast pirate fleet assembled by Barbossa, who is a very wealthy captain, still in command of the Queen Anne's Revenge. It's a matter of time until the Silent Mary comes for the Queen Anne's Revenge, and Barbossa has a face-to-face with Salazar, who reveals his goal: revenge against Jack Sparrow. Jack, as a teenage boy, fooled Salazar into sailing straight into the Triangle, leaving him, his crew, and the Silent Mary forever cursed and bound to the sea. 

        Jack and his crew do, eventually, find themselves under attack from the Silent Mary, and Jack, Henry, and Carina are forced to flee, heading to an island where the locals give Jack a choice: die, or get married to one of the locals. Luckily, Barbossa stops the wedding, and asks for the bottle containing the Black Pearl . Barbossa stabs the bottle with Blackbeard's sword, and the Pearl begins to return to normal size. Barbossa tosses it into the water, and the Pearl sinks down, returning to the surface as it's original size. And, I will admit, I cheered my head off when I saw this moment in the movie theater, as the Pearl is as important to this series as Jack himself. 

       Anyway, it's off to the Trident's Island. Oh, and on the way there, we learn that Carina is Barbossa's daughter. When the Pearl arrives, a Royal Navy ship is destroyed by the Silent Mary, and the Pearl runs aground. Using a red gem from the cover of the journal, the part to the Trident is revealed. Salazar posseses Henry, and takes the Trident. Salazar leaves Henry's body, and Jack and Salazar have a confrontation, which buys enough time for Henry to destroy the Trident, this breaking ALL of the curses of the sea. Salazar and his men are human again, and the parted sea begins to close. Barbossa sacrifices himself to save Carina, and he takes Salazar into the ocean depths with him. You know, I find it interesting how Barbossa died at the end of Curse of the Black Pearl as a villain, is brought back to life by Tia Dalma/Calypso during Dead Man's Chest to help free her from human form in At World's End, only to die a noble and heroic death in Dead Men Tell No Tales. It really goes to show how Barbossa evolved as a character as the franchise went on. 

        Carina, now taking her father's last name of Barbossa as her own, goes with Henry, where he reunites with Will, now free from his bonds to the Dutchman. Will, after his reunion with Henry, also reunites with Elizabeth, and this family reunion is witnessed from afar by Jack, whose crew is a mix of his Dying Gull crew and Barbossa's surviving crew. Even Barbossa's pet monkey, Jack, is on the Pearl, and he and Jack make peace after so long. And when Gibbs asks for a heading, Jack remarks "We shall follow the stars. I have a rendezvous  beyond my beloved horizon." And the movie ends with Jack Sparrow, with Jack the monkey on his shoulder, sailing off to parts unknown. 

         As I said at the top of this review, the plot for Dead Men Tell No Tales feels like the filmmakers took several ideas for the franchise, threw them all at the wall simultaneously, picked the ones that stuck, and wrote the script around those ideas. And, there was only one other 2017 film that had me thinking that: Transformers: The Last Knight. However, while that movie was an abject failure through and through, there's a lot about Dead Men Tell No Tales that I genuinely liked. 

        For instance, I genuinely liked how there was an increase of action when compared to the previous Pirates of the Caribbean film, On Stranger Tides. Especially, with how much action happens at sea. Seeing the ships getting attacked by Salazar and the Silent Mary is absolutely fantastic, and I absolutely enjoyed it. Speaking of, and yes I have said this about both the Flying Dutchman and the Queen Anne's Revenge, but the Silent Mary is genuinely terrifying. Like, this thing is truly something out of a nightmare, looking like it's falling apart but held together by some kind of supernatural force. 

         I, unfortunately, can't say the same about Salazar's crew. Don't get me wrong, spectral pirate hunters seem pretty terrifying in nature. However, the performances of the actors are all completely drowned out by the visual effects used on them that it's difficult to enjoy the performances of the actors. This is especially so for Salazar himself. Javier Bardem is one of my favorite actors working today, and I have enjoyed him in movies like Skyfall, Dune, and just recently with The Little Mermaid. So, when I heard he was the villain of a fifth Pirates of the Caribbean movie, I was excited. And, if not for the CGI overlapping his performance, he'd be my favorite villain of the franchise. As it stands, though, Davy Jones is still my favorite villain in the series, because Bill Nighy was able to work his performance in tandem with the visual effects. 

       As far as the rest of the acting goes, both Brenton Thwaites and Kaya Scodelario were really enjoyable as Henry and Carina. As the two primary newcomers to the movie, they are easily the most relatable part of the movie, and are most likely the two characters that newcomers will most likely latch onto. Unfortunately, I feel that both David Wenham and Bruce Spence were absolutely wasted in this movie, and really felt like their characters could have been played by any actor plucked from the supporting cast of Game of Thrones. Just saying. Anyway, the newcomers aren't the issue. It's the returning cast, all of whom feel pretty much on autopilot throughout the movie. Seriously, even the two actors who are actually doing their best in each one of these movies, Geoffrey Rush and Kevin R. McNally, both seem like they're tired of making these movies. Both Martin Klebba and Stephen Graham also feel like they're just coasting through the movie. 

        And, of course, we all know the stories from the set regarding Johnny Depp. Showing up late to set, arriving on set drunk, having lines fed through an earpiece. Honestly, this movie was the low point for his tenure as Jack Sparrow. But, it wasn't all as bad as the stories made it out to be. He still does an okay job in the role, but again, it feels like a performance on autopilot. And, both Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley show up, and it's...fine. Honestly, I could have done without seeing either of them, but they're here to give Brenton Thwaites' Henry motivation to move the plot forward, so it's cool. 

          The set designs, costume designs, swordfight choreography, and music score are all well done, once more. Heck, I find the cinematography in this movie to be the best it's been since The Curse of the Black Pearl. No oversaturated color grading, which really allows the various colors on set to really pop on the screen. Geoffrey Zanelli, who is a protege of Hans Zimmer, takes over the job of composer for this movie, and he definitely does an excellent job. Not nearly as iconic as Hans Zimmer's work in previous films, but still exciting and enjoyable for me as a fan of this franchise. 

         Overall, while I don't think that this was the best movie in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, it's far from completely terrible. I think that what happened was that we as an audience, much like the cast.and crew, had hit a burnout point with the series and just needed time away from it. So, I'm giving Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales a rating of 4.10/5. Like I said, I enjoyed the movie, especially more than On Stranger Tides, but just not as much as the first three. 

        Now, as far as the future of the franchise is concerned, Disney still wants to make at least one more Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Bruckheimer definitely wants to make another one. And, just recently, Johnny Depp has softened his stance about not wanting to return by stating he'd be willing to come back of it's the right project. In other words, now the ball is in Disney's court to make a script that is worth Johnny Depp wanting to come back as Jack Sparrow, which would make the fans, myself included, extremely happy. When will it happen? It's probably going to be a long way off. But, with this one spark of hope, I believe we will get to see Jack Sparrow have one last adventure on the big screen. 

         Alright guys, this is Chuck signing off. Thanks for following my reviews of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise throughout this past week, and I'll see you guys next Tuesday for my long overdue review of the greatest Nickelodeon cartoon of all time: Avatar: The Last Airbender.