Review - Transformers Sequels (2009 - 2017)

             Hey guys, Chuck here. Well, the other day, we discussed the 2007 Michael Bay film Transformers. Well, the movie turned out to be such a big hit with audiences, that Paramount Pictures green lit a sequel, and eventually continued to do so until they had a total of five of these films out there, all directed by Michael Bay. And since I have no desire to talk about them individually, as I would rather talk about other movies out there, I decided to do a single post about the four sequels to Transformers, just to knock them all out at once. 

            So, let's start with the 2009 sequel Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. We open with a prologue that showcases that the Cybertronians visited Earth in ancient times, all the way back to the year 17,000 BC. We then to two years after the events of the first movie, where we see that humans have formed a military alliance with the Autobots, with a classified unit called NEST teaming up with Optimus, Ironhide, Ratchet, and new Autobots like twins Mudflap and Skids, Jolt, Sideswipe, and the trio of Arcee, Chromia, and Elita One. Together, this joint alliance goes across the globe hunting down any remaining Decepticons still hiding on Earth. We actually see NEST and the Autobots in Shanghai taking down two Decepticons: Sideways and Demolishor, the latter of whom warns that: "The Fallen shall rise again." 

            Meanwhile, while getting ready to attend college, Sam Witwicky gets exposed to the knowledge of the Allspark when he grabs a splinter from the Cube on his hoodie from the Mission City battle. The splinter brings the kitchen appliances in Sam's house to life, but they are all dispatched by Bumblebee. Sam gives the shard to Mikaela, and she is followed by a Decepticon scout named Wheelie. Meanwhile, the other only remaining piece of the Allspark is stolen from the NEST base on the island of Diego Garcia, when the Decepticon Soundwave sends Decepticons Ravage and Reedman to steal it. Later, Scalpel and several other Decepticons head to the bottom of the Laurentian Abyss to resurrect Megatron, who heads into deep space to meet with Starscream and The Fallen, the latter of whom reveals that the knowledge of the Cube is now in Sam's mind, and we see the knowledge literally cause Sam to start having full-on mental breakdowns, including in his Astronomy 101 class. The Decepticons nab him, along with Mikaela (who flew Eastward to help him), and Sam's roommate Leo. Optimus and the Autobots try to save them, but he is killed by Megatron. Legions of Decepticons then arrive on Earth, including The Fallen himself. Sam, Mikaela, and Leo, alon with Bumblebee and the Twins, seek help from Simmons, who has files about similar marking like the ones in Sam's brain, and Mikaela releases the captured Wheelie, who leads them to a Decepticon Seeker in the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum. This is where we meet Jetfire, who reveals that he defected to the Autobots, leading Wheelie to do the same. Jetfire that uses a space bridge to transport everyone to Egypt, where he reveals that The Fallen built a deadly machine called the Sun Harvester, which is used to harvest a substance called Energon by destroying suns, on Earth against the wishes of his fellow Primes, all of whom took a key called the Matrix of Leadership and hid it in a tom made of their own bodies. Jetfire reveals that the symbols Sal has been seeing are his clue, which translates to "When dawn alights the Dagger's Tip, three kings will reveal the doorway." 

            Simmons gets word out to Lennox at NEST, and his team gathers the remaining Autobots, as well as the dead remains of Optimus, and heads to the coordinates to the Dagger's Tip, which Sam, Mikaela, Leo, and Simmons head to and find the Tomb of the Primes and the Matrix inside. The Matrix turns to dust, which Sam collects, hoping it will be enough to bring back Optimus. NEST and the Autobors fight the Decepticons, a group of whom form into the massive Devastator, who tears up one of the Great Pyramids to reveal the Sun Harvester. Sam and Bumblebee rescue Sam's parents, who the Decepticons kidnapped earlier, and Bumblebee gets them to safety. Sam and Mikaela rush to where Lennox and Epps are, and they hurry to Optimus, but Sam is killed. Sam hallucinates the spirits of the Primes, who reveal to him that the Matrix is something that cannot be found; it must be earned, and Sam has earned it. The Primes bring Sam back to life, reforming the matrix, and Sam picks it up and merges it with Optimus' spark. The Fallen takes it, Jetfire sacrifices his parts to be merged with Optimus to aid in his fight with the Fallen, who is easily defeated, and both Megatron and Starscream flee the battle, while Sam, Mikaela, Leo, Simmons, Sam's parents, NEST, and the Autobots are all returned home, ending the movie. 

            Two years later, in 2011, we got the third movie Transformers: Dark of the Moon, where we see that humans have known about the Transformers for a lot longer than previously thought, as NASA launched the Apollo program to investigate a crashed Cybertronian ship on the moon. Cut to four years after Revenge of the Fallen, we see Sam living in an apartment in Washington DC, along with his new girlfriend Carly Spencer. Yeah, Sam and Mikaela broke up, and Sam is with this new girl, who once worked with the British government. Meanwhile, NEST and the Autobots, which includes the returning Optimus, Ironhide, Bumblebee, Ratchet, and Sideswipe, along with new Autobots Dino and Que, find Cybertronian engine part in the ruins of the nuclear facility in Chernobyl, and they are attacked by the Decepticon Shockwave. We later learn that the crashed ship with the crew of Apollo 11 investigated in the past is called The Ark, and it carried a technology that could have turned the tide in the War on Cybertron, as well as the creator of the technology: Sentinel Prime. Optimus and Ratchet head to the moon aboard the Xanthium and rescue Sentinel. Sam, meanwhile, gets a job in the mail room at Acuretta Systems, working for an eccentric man named Bruce Brazos. It's here that we meet Jerry "Deep" Wang, who has information about his involvement in a cover up regarding the Apollo program, and is subsequently killed by a Decepticon called Laserbeak, who is acting on the orders of both Soundwave and Megatron. Sam and Carly head to meet Lennox and the Autobots at NEST headquaters in DC, where they mees Charlotte Mearing, who is the Director of National Intelligence, and they witness the reawakening of Sentinel Prime, who informs that his invention, the Pillars, can open a space bridge, and he must get all of the missing Pillars back before the Decepticons get their hands on them, which would spell certain doom for Earth.

            Sam calls up Simmons, who has become a bestselling author, for help, and they find surviving members of the Russian space program from years before. It turns out that the Decepticons ALREADY had the Pillars, and all they needed was Sentinel to be reawakened by the Matrix of Leadership, which Optimus now carries with him everywhere. It's revealed that Sentinel betrayed the Autobots and cut a deal with Megatron, killing Ironhide with a rust gun. Sentinel steals the Pillars, and meets with Megatron to open a space bridge, bringing forth legions of Decepticons and Decepticon warships from the moon to Earth. Sam then goes to pick up Carly, who is at a party held by her boss, Dylan Gould, who reveals that he's working with the Decepticons. The world leaders ultimately vote to exile the Autobots, and they are seemingly destroyed by Starscream, whilst the Decepticons set up shop in Chicago to initiate their plan: use the Pillars at specific points around the world to open a space bridge big enough to transport Cybertron into Earth's orbit. The Autobots, joined by an additional Autobot trio called the Wreckers, show up in Chicago to stop them, destroying the Command Pillar, Sentinel, Starscream, Megatron, Soundwave, and countless Decepticons. Oh, and Sam kills Dylan and save the captive Carly. The movie ends with the remaining Autobots standing triumphant with their human allies. 

            In 2014, we got the fourth movie Transformers: Age of Extinction. In it, we learn that in the Mesozoic Era, aka the time of the Dinosaurs, the Earth was cyberformed by a mysterious race of aliens. Cut to five years after Dark of the Moon, we learn that a CIA Black Ops unit, Cemetery Wind, has been created to hunt down any remaining Transformers on Earth, Autobots AND Decepticons alike. Meanwhile, in Texas, we meet Cade Yeager, along with his daughter, Tessa, and his best friend, Lucas, find and repair a damaged truck, which turns out to be Optimus Prime. Cemetery Wind, led by Harold Attinger and James Savoy, locate the Yeager farm, along with Cybertronian bounty hunter Lockdown, and a chase ensues, where Tessa's boyfriend Shane Dyson saves Lucas, Cade, and Tessa, but Lucas is killed by Lockdown, and the other three are taken to safety by Optimus. Optimus later upgrades his appearance and rejoins what's left of the Autobots: Hound, Drift, Crosshairs, and Bumblebee. The Autobots, along with Cade, Tessa, and Shane, all head to the headquarters of KSI, a tech company led by Joshua Joyce, in Chicago.

            It turns out that KSI has acquired the remains of several dead Transformers, including the head of Megatron, to work with an element known as "transformium" (which is automatically a stupider name that "unobtanium," so you're off the hook on that one, Avatar) to make their own Transformers, including two military prototypes: Galvatron and Stinger. Now, to show how big of an idiot Joshua really is, he modeled Galvatron after Optimus Prime, is using information from the severed head of Megatron to build him and is shocked that after five attempts to render him, Galvatron continues to bear the appearance of Megatron. Anyway, the Autobots attack, and demand that Joshua stops his actions, but he refutes that the humans no longer need the Autobots, especially since they can now build their own Transformers. Optimus and the Autobots leave, and Attinger suggests that Joshua respond by deploying both Galvatron and Stinger. Joshua does so, and is shocked to learn that Galvatron has sentience of his own. Lockdown arrives and captures Optimus along with Tessa, and he gives Attinger and co. a weapon called the Seed, which can cyberform any area of a massive blast radius. Joshua takes the seed, along with both Galvatron and Stinger, and heads to the KSI facility in Hong Kong. The Autobots steal part of Lockdown's ship, and head to Hong Kong themselves when they realize that Galvatron wants to detonate the Seed in the city itself, instead of far away from the city. Optimus frees the Dinobots, and together the Autobots and the Dinobots stop Galvatron and his army of man-made Transformers. Lockdown of destroyed by Optimus, Attinger and Savoy are killed by Cade, and Joshua agrees to help Cade and Tessa get their lives back. Optimus leaves the Earth to go straight after the Creators of the Transformers. 

            Three years later, and we got Transformers: The Last Knight, which was the last of the Michael Bay directed Transformers movies and quite honestly the most stupid and most mind-numbingly insane entries of the franchise. SO, we see that Transformers known as the Knights of Iacon teamed up with King Arthur, the Knights of the Round Table, and Merlin the Wizard, gifting Merlin a powerful staff, and the power to control Dragonstorm, a massive three-headed Cybertronian dragon. Cut to a year after Age of Extinction, Cemetery Wind is no more, replaced with a military unit called TRF (Transformers Reaction Force), with Lennox being on the unit trying to advocate for the Autobots. Optimus is off-world, Megatron is MIA (and no longer Galvatron for some reason), and Cade Yeager is hiding the Autobots and Dinobots in a junkyard for their protection. During an attempted rescue mission, Cade is gifted a talisman belonging to the Knights of Iacon. Around the Earth, unexplained metal horns have been appearing with no clues as to why. In London, we meet Vivienne Wembley, who is apparently the last living descendant of Merlin himself. We also meet Izabella and her Transformer companion Squeeks, who goes with Cade to help the Autobots. Megatron then meets with lawyers representing the U.S. government, along with Lennox, and negotiates the release of four Decepticon priisoners: Mohawk, Dreadbot, Nitro Zeus, and Onslaught. Together, along with Barricade, the group of Decepticons go after Cade and the Autobots, and both Cade and Bumblebee are rescued by a Cybertronian butler called Cogman, who was sent for Cade by Sir Edmund Burton, who also hbas Vivienne picked up by a French-accented Autobot called Hot Rod. Cade and Vivienne learn just how long the Transformers have been appearing on Earth and Burton's family, who are part of the Order of Witwiccans, are tied to the is secret history of Transformers on Earth.

            Meanwhile, Optimus has returned to Cybertron, where he meets Quintessa, who manipulates him to being her loyal puppet. It's here where we learn that the planet Earth is, actually, Unicron: the ancient enemy of Cybertron, slumbering for millennia and now waking up as Cybertron and Quintessa approach Earth. Cade and Vivienne eventually locate the means to reach a sunken Cybertronian ship which houses the remains of Merlin, as well as the Staff of Merlin, which only Vivienne can activate, Optimus, now calling himself Nemesis Prime, takes the Staff and fights Bumblebee, until Bumblebee uses his restored voice to break Quintessa's grip on Optimus, who rejoins the Autobots and the Knights of Iacon to fight Megatron, the Decepticons, and Infernicus. Quintessa is defeated, and the machine, which has settles over Stonehenge, deactivates. Optimus and the Autobots returns to Cybertron to restore it to normal, while Quintessa has taken human form and offers the humas the means to destroy Unicron. Oh, and I think Cade and Vivienne hook up at the end, I dunno. 

            Anyway, it's clear that these movies tried to overcomplicate things, and it just didn't work. While I'm all for building lore and history, this was just way too much. Michael Bay and writers Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman, Ehren Kruger, Akiva Goldsman, Art Marcum, Ken Nolan, and Matt Hollaway all really tried their damn best to make these movies work, but they just couldn't. 

            As far as casting goes, seeing Shia LaBeouf return for both Revenge of the Fallen and Dark of the Moon was okay, but replacing him with Mark Wahlberg for both Age of Extinction and The Last Knight was definitely smart, as I do buy him as an action hero. The likes of Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, and John Turturro returning as well was pretty cool, but Megan Fox's replacement in Dark of the Moon, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, was just okay. Other additions throughout like Ramon Rodriguez, Frances McDormand, Patrick Dempsey, Ken Jeong, John Malkovich, TJ Miller, Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer, Sophia Myles, Li Bingbing, Laura Haddock, Isabella Merced, Nicola Peltz, Santiago Cabrera, and Anthony Hopkins were all a mixed bag. Some were good, some were bad, and some I have no idea what the fuck any of them were doing, and that especially rings true for Anthony Hopkins in The Last Knight. Voice performances throughout the series, including Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime, Hugo Weaving and Frank Welker as Megatron/Galvatron, Welker as both Soundwave and Shockwave, Keith Szarabajka as Laserbeak, Andre Sogliuzzo and James Remar as Sideswipe, John Goodman as Hound, Ken Watanabe as Drift, John DiMaggio as Crosshairs, Omar Sy as Hot Rod, Gemma Chan as Quintessa, Mark Ryan as both Jetfire and Lockdown, Jim Carter as Cogman, Tony Todd as The Fallen, Charlie Adler as Starscream, Steve Buscemi as Daytrader, and Leonard Nimoy as Sentinel Prime, were all really good, with my favorites probably being John Goodman as Hound and James Remar as Sideswipe in Dark of the Moon. 

            Visually, the CGI is an absolute mess. It's still a pain in the ass to differentiate a majority of the Decepticons from each other, and that's not a good thing in a franchise like Transformers. Now, while it's insanely difficult to recommend ANY of these movies, I will say that, at least, Dark of the Moon is the least inept of all the sequels, and I do recommend it even at the slightest level. As far as ratings go, I rate the Transformers sequels as follows: Revenge of the Fallen gets a 0.75/5, Dark of the Moon gets a 3.75/5, Age of Extinction gets a 1.95/5, and The Last Knight gets a 2.05/5. 

            Okay, so that's it for now with the Transformers. This Thursday, I will be giving my thoughts on the newest Marvel movie Thor: Love and Thunder, and next Tuesday, I will be wrapping my reviews of the live-action Transformers movies with the 2018 reboot film Bumblebee. Until then, this is Chuck signing off, and I'll see you guys next time.