Review - Small Soldiers (1998)

         Hey guys, Chuck here. The 90's were definitely a fun time for movies, hence why I dedicated the entire month of February 2020 to the decade. However, there was one movie that I didn't get to at the time, and now that I have a copy on Blu-ray, it's time to discuss Small Soldiers. Directed by Joe Dante, this 1998 film was one of the early releases of DreamWorks Pictures. But does it hold up more than twenty years later? Let's find out as we take a look at Small Soldiers. 

        So the movie introduces us to military contractor GloboTech, whose CEO Gil Mars seeks to break into the private sector, and his first endeavor is acquiring a company called Heartland Toys, based on the success of a toy line called the "Belch Brigade." Heartland Toys' top two developers, Larry Benson and Irwin Wayfair, are kept on by Mars as he rebrands the company as Heartland Play Systems, and hears a pitch for two new toy lines: Irwin's "Gorgonites" and Larry's "Commando Elite." Mars, uninterested in Irwin's concept of the Gorgonites being used for education, crafts a plot for the two lines of toys: the Gorgonites, monsters from the Land of Gorgon, are the enemies of the Commando Elite, and the Commandos seek out and destroy the Gorgonites. So, we have a line of monster toys and a line of soldier toys, and both are sold alongside each other. Irwin and Larry are then given a three month timetable to manufacturer, market, and ship the toys for public purchase, and receive GloboTech security cards and passwords. Later that evening, Larry uses Irwin's password to find some microprocessor chips for the Commandos  and Gorgonites, using a military chip called the X-1000. 

        Some time passes, and a teenager named Alan Abernathy rides over to a small-town toy store owned by Alan's dad Stuart, whose leaving town for a business seminar, leaving Alan in charge of the store. A delivery driver for Heartland Play Systems, Joe, arrives with a delivery for the store, and he and Alan take a look at the Commandos and the Gorgonites. After checking the toys out, Alan convinces Joe to leave a set behind, along with promotional cutouts, as a means of making some money for the store. Alan sets everything up, and his neighbor, a girl named Christy Fimple, along with her little brother Timmy, arrives to look around. Timmy becomes interested in the Commandos and Gorgonites, specifically wanting Commando leader Major Chip Hazard. After the two leave, Alan puts the toys on display, but hurries home to give his dad the airline ticket before he leaves for his flight. 

       Meanwhile, Christy's dad Phil starts cutting up the Abernathys' tree in order to optimize reception for the Fimples' new satellite dish. Alan arrives just as Stuart is about to leave, and heads up into his room, learning that the Gorgonite leader, Archer, snuck into his backpack. Back at the store, Chip activates the other Commandos, and after rallying the troops, Chip and the Commandos attack the Gorgonites. The next morning, Alan sees the damage caused by the Commandos, and find the remains of Gorgonite Troglokhan, with no signs of the Commandos or the rest of the Gorgonites. Christy arrives, and helps Alan clean up the store, but are interrupted by the sudden arrival of Stuart, who sends Alan home. 

        On the way home, Link Static of the Commandos spots Alan, confirms that a Gorgonite, Archer, is in his backpack, and reports back to Chip and the other Commandos, who sends Brick Bazooka after Alan, and to nab Archer. Alan places a call to Heartland Play Systems, threatening legal action, as the Commandos wrecked the store, destroyed the Gorgonites, and ran off. That night, the Commandos attempt to get the location of the other Gorgonites from Archer and nearly destroy him with the garbage disposal, but are interrupted by Alan, who cut down Archer and shoves Nick Nitro of the Commandos into the garbage disposal instead. Coming clean with his parents, Alan confesses to taking a shipment of Gorgonites and Commandos from Joe, hoping to make some money for the store, but his parents are more concerned when he tries to explain that the toys are alive. Later on, Archer reveals that the Gorgonites are hiding, and thus are not destroyed. In the Fimples' garage, the Commandos regroup, only for a damaged Nick Nitro to drop in and deactivate due to the damage caused by the garbage disposal. 

         The next day, Alan and Archer finds the Gorgonites in the dumpster near the toy store. The other Gorgonites consist of Ocula, Punch-It, Scratch-It, Slamfist, and Insaniac. The Gorgonites did their best to rebuild Troglokhan, but the finished result wasn't perfect. Alan takes the Gorgonites home and keeps them safe. Back at Heartland Play Systems, Larry is holding a press conference for the Gorgonites and the Commandos, but Irwin interrupts him due to the voicemail Alan left before. Larry then realizes that he screwed up when Irwin learns that the X-1000 chips used in the toys were designed for the Department of Defense. In short, Larry put munitions chips in children's toys. After a visit with the creator of the X-1000, Ralph, Larry and Irwin make a massive recall effort for the Commandos. 

        The Commandos, meanwhile, attempt to get Alan to hand over the Gorgonites by taking Christy hostage, and bring her collection of Gwendy dolls to life as reinforcements for the Commando Elite. Alan tricks the Commandos using a boom box and tape recording of the Gorgonites, and he and Archer rescue Christy, who destroys the Gwendy dolls. After escaping, Alan and Christy are confronted by the Commandos in their war vehicles, and are chased to a ravine, where the Commandos crash and are destroyed...all except for Chip, that is. Damaged but still functional, Chip makes his way to a store called Toy World, where Joe is picking up the recalled shipment of Commandos, all of whom are activated by Chip. 

         Back at the Abernathy house, Alan and Christy prove to their parents that the toys are alive. Phil is unconvinced, and takes his family away, but they are stopped by the arrival of Larry and Irwin. After Stuart punches Larry, due to the Commandos nearly killing Alan, Irwin sees the effects the X-1000 had on the Gorgonites. The Commandos then arrive and attack, trying to get the Gorgonites. All hell breaks loose, the Gorgonites fight back, and Alan tried to blow up nearby power transformer to stop the Commandos once and for all. After a confrontation atop the power pole, Archer is knocked down by Chip, who is places into the transformer to complete the circuit. The transformer blows up, creating an EMP, destroying the Commandos for good. The next morning, as the damage is cleaned up, Gil Mars arrives and pays off Joe, the Fimples, and the Abernathys to keep quiet about recent events, and suggests that Larry and Irwin market the Commandos to the military. Later on, Alan finds the Gorgonites, shielded from the EMP by the dish in the Fimples' yard. Using a wooden boat from his dad's store, Alan sets the Gorgonites off to find their homeland of Gorgon, ending the movie. 

      So, where to begin? Well, I can definitely say that Small Soldiers is a unique type of film. Too dark for little kids, but a bit too mild and kid-friendly for a more mature audience. It's definitely a PG-13 movie that, if you have a seven-year-old, you can probably show them with no problem. I mean, I saw it in theaters when I was six-years-old, so I'm a bit biased on calling it something kids can enjoy, as it might be a bit much for younger kids. The cast, including the likes of Gregory Smith, Kirsten Dunst, Jay Mohr, David Cross, Kevin Dunn, Denis Leary, Joe Dante regulars like Dick Miller and Robert Picardo, and the late Phil Hartman in his final film role, were all great, and the voice over talent like Frank Langella and Tommy Lee Jones were iconic. The visual effects, combining puppetry by Stan Winston and CGI by Industrial Light & Magic, are terrific. Overall, a very good movie, but a product of its time, Small Soldiers gets a rating of 4.5/5. This is Chuck signing off. See you guys next time.