12 Reviews of Christmas - Die Hard (1988)

        Hey guys, Chuck here. Well, as promised, today for 12 Reviews of Christmas, we'll be taking a look at the greatest Christmas movie of all time. Such a great Christmas movie, in fact, that there have been countless debates among fans, non-fans, and so forth about whether it really is a Christmas movie. Yet, the film's writer and director have both declared that it is, in fact, a Christmas movie, in spite of what the film's lead actor, Bruce Willis, said during his own Comedy Central Roast. However, after recent words from director John McTiernan, along with what was said previously by writer Steven E. DeSouza, So, here it is. The greatest Christmas movie ever made: Die Hard.  

        The movie opens with NYPD officer John McClane, whose Christmas Eve flight lands of Los Angeles. Noticing his nerves, a fellow passenger gives him advice: once he gets where he's going, take off his shoes and socks and walk around on the carpet barefoot making fists with his toes. Upon arriving in the terminal at LAX, McClane meets limo driver Argyle, who drives him to Nakatomi Plaza, where McClane's wife, Holly, works. However, due to it being a Japanese corporation, Holly assumed her maiden name of Gennaro. Upon arriving, McClane is sent to the 30th floor, where a Christmas Eve party is going on, and McClane meets both Joseph Takagi and Harry Ellis, both of whom Holly works closely with. While this is going on, and Argyle waits for McClane in the underground parking garage, a moving truck pulls into the garage. In the lobby, two men named Theo and Karl walk in, and Karl kills the security guards. Several other men, all led by Hans Gruber, exit out of the truck and take over the building, cutting off communication with the outside. Hans and a group of his men head to the 30th floor and take Takagi away, and ask him for the passcode to access the computer, because the computer can access a vault that contains $640 million in untraceable bearer bonds. Takagi, however, refuses to give Hans the code, and Hans kills him, forcing them to open the vault the hard way. 

        McClane, meanwhile trips a fire alarm, which forces Hans to send Tony, Karl's brother, to investigate. McClane fights Tony until Tony falls down some stairs and breaks his neck, which kills him. McClane then sends Tony's corpse in the elevator back to the party, with a Santa hat on his head and a message written on his sweater: "Now I have a machine gun. Ho-Ho-Ho." McClane then reaches out to the LAPD, who send a nearby squad car, driven by Sgt. Al Powell, to investigate. While Al is thrown off the scent by Eddie, who has taken post at the lobby security desk, McClane kills both Marco and Heinrich, sending Marco's body out the window, where it lands on Al's squad car, leading Al to call for back-up. McClane then reaches out to Hans via radio, and this leads to McClane's iconic line: "Yippie-ki-yay, motherf***er." A whole platoon of LAPD officers, led by Deputy Chief Dwayne T. Robertson, arrives and SWAT attempts to get inside, only for James and Alexander, and additional pair of Hans' men, put a stop to their efforts, until both are stopped by McClane, using C4 he acquired from Heinrich. Sometime later, FBI agents Johnson and Johnson, and to avoid confusion we'll call the older one Big Johnson and the younger one Little Johnson, arrive and take over on the ground. Ellis, meanwhile, tries to mediate a peaceful surrender of McClane to Hans, but Hans kills Ellis when he proves useless. The FBI then has power cut off for the building, which gives Hans, Theo, and co. what they wanted: the power shut-off deactivates the electromagnetic seal on the vault, which went up after the last lock was unlocked, and the vault opens up, giving Hans access to the $640 million in bearer bonds that he wanted. 

        Meanwhile, news reporter Thornburg, who had been reporting on the crisis since the start, learns of McClane's family, who have an address in LA, and Thornburg takes advantage of this. As McClane gets the hostages safely off the roof, which is rigged to blow, Hans learns, through Thornburg's TV chat with McClane's children, Lucy and Jack, that Holly is McClane's wife, and he takes her hostage. McClane then goes to confront Hans one last time, after their earlier encounter didn't go so well. Hans then taunts McClane with the same "Yippie-ki-yay, motherf***er" line, leading to McClane shooting him, as well as his last two henchmen Eddie and Kristoff. Hans, dangling out the window by Holly's wrist, and McClane unclasps her watch, leading Hans to fall to his death. McClane and Holly head to the ground floor and get out of the building, where they meet Al for the first time, and are confronted by Karl, whose been obsessed with killing McClane in retribution for Tony's death. Karl, however, is shot to death by Al. After meeting Thornburg, Holly decks him for putting her children on TV. The movie ends with Argyle, having earlier knocked Theo unconscious, arrives and gives McClane and Holly a ride home, remarking "Man, if this is your idea of Christmas, I gotta be her for New Year's."

        Die Hard is considered to be the greatest action movie ever made. Bruce Willis kills it as John McClane, and the late Alan Rickman was terrific as Hans Gruber. De'voreaux White, Reginald VelJohnson, Paul Gleason, Bonnie Bedelia, and Clarence Gilyard are all terrific as well, and both Hart Bochner and William Atherton play sleazy jerk-wads really well in this movie. Director John McTiernan and writer Steven E. DeSouza made a truly iconic movie that not only led to sequels, but hundreds of Die Hard knock-offs like Under Siege, Passenger 57, Speed, and so forth. This is also the greatest Christmas movie of all time, as countless viewers pop this one in around the holiday season as an alternative for typical holiday films like A Christmas Story or Miracle on 34th Street. A great movie overall, and still the one that Bruce Willis is most famous for, Die Hard gets a rating of 5/5. Tomorrow, we wrap up 12 Reviews of Christmas Disney-style with a review of Mickey's Christmas Carol.