Review - Fred: The Movie (2010)

     Hey guys, Chuck here. You know, there are some movies you hope that you never have to review. Well, this is one of those movies. Ladies and gentlemen: Fred: The Movie. For those of you who have most likely forgotten by now, Fred Figglehorn, or Fred for short, was a fictional character created for YouTube by Lucas Cruikshank. Fred was distinct for his over-the-top mannerisms and sped-up chipmunk voice, which was the bane of many on YouTube. Not only that, but before other YouTubers began producing T-shirts for fans to purchase, Fred had a whole slew of merchandise made such as toys, lunchboxes, t-shirts, and a Christmas album of all things. In other words, not only was he a YouTube annoyance, but Fred was also a complete and utter sell-out. Oh, but his selling out didn't end with all the merchandise, because in 2010, it was announced that a feature-length Fred movie was being produced, eventually going from a planned theatrical release to being produced for Nickelodeon. And here we are today, with the now ten-year old feature film Fred: The Movie.  

    We open with Fred (played by Cruikshank) reminiscing about another day at school, where he fantasized about his longtime crush, Judy (played by British pop star Pixie Lott), getting pushed around by his rival Kevin (played by Jake Weary), and the list goes on. While attempting to inflate a kiddie pool, he quits halfway through after a chat with his only real friend, Bertha (played by Jennette McCurdy, who at the time was known for her role as Sam Puckett on iCarly). After some encouragement from his dad (played by John Cena), Fred tries to head next door to Judy's house, only to get scared off by Kevin. Shortly afterwards, Fred's mom (played by Siobhan Fallon Hogan) returns home and heads upstairs for a nap. After more encouragement from John Cena, Fred makes a number of attempts to reach Judy's by going both over and under the wall dividing their backyards. It turns out, however, that Judy and her family moved across town, so Fred decides that the very next day, he'll trek across town to see her. 

    During his trip across town, Fred is buried up to his neck in sand by Bertha, attempts to buy a dog that he called a "squirrel" from two flamboyant pet shop owners, gets lost in the woods, runs into Gary Anthony Williams in a laundromat, and meets his super-cool imaginary friend Derf. Fred finally arrives at Judy's, and the two seem to have a great time together. However, reality sets in, as this was a dream sequence, and in reality, Judy's having a house party,  which Fred wasn't invited. After being humiliated, and throwing up on Judy, Fred goes home, and sees that Kevin posted a video of Fred's humiliating moment on YouTube. The next day, Fred decides to hold his own party to which no one is invited...no one except for Bertha, that is. Yeah it seems that Bertha wasn't invited to Judy's party, either, and she didn't watch the humiliating video of Fred that Kevin posted online. So, Fred and Bertha have their party, using costumes, wigs, and so much else, and edit together footage from the party and uploading it to YouTube, creating what can only be described as the world's worst YouTube Poop video. The next day, Fred's classmates are interviewed about missing out on Fred's party, and Fred gets an unexpected visit from Judy, who apologizes to him, and wants to hang out with him, thus finally ending this pointless train wreck of a movie. 

\    Fred: The Movie is, by far, the worst movie I've reviewed on this blog, Lucas' performance was certainly less migraine inducing due to it not being as high-pitched as it is in the YouTube videos, and admittedly, Pixie Lott, Jake Weary, and Jennette McCurdy were pretty decent as Judy, Kevin, and Bertha. However, despite the decent performances by these four, as well as some pretty fun moments with John Cena, this movie lacks anything resembling a plot, and the humor in the movie is far from funny, or even good by any standards. Now I originally was going to give this movie a zero, but given that this film was only aired on Nickelodeon, and later released on DVD, and thus never saw any sort of theatrical release, I'm going to give Fred: The Movie a rating of 0.5/5. Long and short of it, if you haven't seen this movie, or anything related to Fred Figglehorn, avoid it as much as possible. This is Chuck singing off See you guys next time as I take a look at an actually good movie: 2013's Man of Steel. 

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